Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Farmville is her only friend.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
