I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
