Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
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I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
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Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
where are my eyebrows?
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