I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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