spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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