dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
