Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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