my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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