Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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