Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
