why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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