The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
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You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
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I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize