She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
