shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation