Sorry, I don't speak sober.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.