OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure