so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
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Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.