How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
