So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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