So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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