how can u be prego again
what day is it and did you see me today?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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