Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
