Already got asked if we're dating
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
we should paint friendship bongs
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
