How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
