How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize