Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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