She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
