new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.