It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
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One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize