How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH