508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.