i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
