youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
