you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
