She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You may now shotgun with the bride
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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