shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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