Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The uberlube is also flammable
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
