An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
