Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
