He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
