whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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