dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
