I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
