i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
