There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
