I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize