I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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