Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
