Kiss
Puke
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
