Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
