Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
