please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
