I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
being pregnant is like rehab
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
