This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
