It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
