Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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