There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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