I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
