There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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