Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
What a dumb baby whore.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite