dude i'm inner monologue high
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.