did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist