you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
