Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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