what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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