he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
