I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize