Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
