You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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