I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
