Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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